Pain in a surprise II

The big decision.

It was December 6, 2017 when I went back to the hospital to get my histology test results. I sat down in the waiting room fidgeting with my nails as I waited for my name to be called.

What seemed like the longest 30 minutes of my life was cut short by a nurse walking into the room towards me as she said ``Miss Jean Ambele, the doctor would see you now.”

I forced a smile and walked past her into the hallway and whispered “God help me” as I walked into the doctor’s office.

“Welcome back Miss Jean, how are you today?” he asked with a weird smile on his face.

“I’m good, thank you. How are you today?” I asked trying to be polite while pushing my worries to the back of my mind.

“I am well, thank you.”

“Your results were sent yesterday and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I’m afraid your tumor was malignant.”

“It seems we have to go in for a second surgery because you unfortunately have what we call Tubular carcinoma, a type of breast cancer,” he said.

I believe I blanked out as he said so and heard the wheels turning in my head as the mechanism of my brain tried hard to process what was being explained to me.

“Jean! Jean!” he said as he tapped me. “Did you hear what I said? You have to choose between a partial and a complete mastectomy.”

“What? Why? I cannot take out my whole breast. I am not doing that.”

I fought hard to prevent the tears gathering in my eyes from rolling down my cheeks as I asked “what happens if I do a partial mastectomy?”

“Well, I am not in the best position to discuss this with you because this is not my specialty, but you will most likely need to have radiotherapy, chemotherapy or both, depending on the degree.”

“I will refer you to a doctor, Dr. Badejo.”

“He is a specialist in these sort of cases and you can ask all your questions and explore your options with him.

“He is very good at breast reconstructive surgeries too so I believe you will be in good hands but remember that your health comes first before any insecurity you think you might have after the surgery,” he said as he handed me Dr. Badejo’s card.

With pain behind my eyes, I left his office and walked with so much focus to my car careful not to blink so that the hoarded tears in my eyes would fail at escaping my eyelids.

I got in and the pain released like rain in late autumn. I knew I had a quick decision to make and decided to get a second and third opinion on the situation, however, this was definitely the most painful surprise I had ever received from life.

I used the next two weeks to visit various specialist with my results and time after time, was heart broken by the reality I had to face.

I finally came to grips with my unfortunate reality and decided to go under the knife once again.

It was December 22, 2018 when I walked into Dr. Badejo’s office and asked all my questions. He assured me a smooth surgery and a good result after.He informed me of how his hospital had a team that focused on cancer patients and he was a major player in the team.

I decide to schedule surgery for the next day as I was ready to begin this long life battle hoping God was looking down on me this Christmas weekend, ready to have mercy on me and be on my side through the battle.

I was wheeled into the theatre once again, this time a lot more nervous than the last.

A mask was again placed over my face and I was told to count to 20.

“……,10,11,12,” and I was gone.Now vulnerable again as my life laid in the hands of Dr. Badejo.

#breastcancer #surgery